Dating an INTJ woman can leave you wondering what exactly goes on in her head. The INTJ personality in general is known to be very rare, especially amongst women. This makes them quite unique as they exhibit traits you might not have come across before.
For one, the INTJ woman holds her own beliefs even when it contradicts that of society. INTJs don’t try to fit in when they clearly do not. Any stereotypical traits of women you have locked in your mind, throw it away. The INTJ woman defies that.
This usually leaves them feeling out of place in the world and finding a partner can be challenging. They never want to admit it but they are quite picky and can be turned off just as easily. When it comes to dating or any form of companionship, INTJ women are probably the most selective.
The INTJ woman could bare herself to you but she’ll still be a very mysterious creature. They are very private and only tell what they need to. Even the close people around them like friends and family learn new things about them daily.
If you’re reading this article, chances are you are trying to date an INTJ woman or you already are. This article will tell you 6 important things your INTJ woman wants their partner to know.
Six (6) Things Your INTJ Woman Wants You to Know
Here are a few things the INTJ woman wants you to know but might never tell.
1. Although They Struggle to Show It, They Feel Intense Emotions Too
There are so many misconceptions about INTJ woman. One of them is they can be withdrawn and emotionless. Although this can be true to some extent, especially if they have no feelings for you, it is mostly false. INTJ women feel emotions deeply too. The challenge however is that they usually don’t know how to express it but they will try.
Whenever your INTJ partner tells you something mushy and romantic, they had to go through a mental barrier for that. And that’s one way to know they care about you and the relationship. INTJ women are very analytical, even towards their feelings and that’s why it could take a while.
They struggle with expressing and translating emotions and that’s why quality time and gift giving is their top love languages. But one thing you can depend on is their very intentional nature. When they love you, they will give it a try. Even if they just have to blurt it out.
2. They May Find It Awkward but They Enjoy You Being Affectionate
One thing about INTJ women is they want a partner to fill where they are lacking. Someone who expresses how much they mean to them and gives them words of affirmation every now and then. Maybe not to the point it becomes exasperating, but just enough.
They may find it awkward at first but words of affirmation mean a lot to them. If they can go past their own awkwardness, then they’ll also say it to their partner as often as possible. Other than words of affirmation, they enjoy physical touch and quality time. An affectionate partner makes things easier for them.
Sure, they could date a fellow INTJ but their intentionality would fill in so many gaps. They know what they require and work toward it, no matter now cringy they might initially find it to be.
3. Meaningful and Supportive Relationships Is All They Crave
The last thing an INTJ wants is a shallow relationship with little to no meaning. The last person they want a relationship with is an unromantic and unsupportive person. INTJs are very supportive to the people in their lives. They crave deep and meaningful connections. Quality would always trump quantity.
When it comes to superficial things, they have no patience for it. They might struggle to express how much they desire companionship and a meaningful one at that but they do. It isn’t their topmost priority and they don’t tie our self worth to who loves or doesn’t love them, it doesn’t mean they don’t crave it.
But finding a companion is always a challenge to the INTJ, especially women. They require someone who understands how they function, appreciates them, takes loyalty seriously and loves them as well. An INTJ woman’s partner is a safe haven from the rest of the world. If they can’t find that, they’d rather wait than settle for less
4. They Would Require Alone Time but Do Not Want to Feel Lonely
Dating an introvert would mean understanding their needs for alone time. This allows them to recharge their batteries, get creative, and live in their own heads to be more productive (Trust me, it works). Now dating an INTJ is no different. They are one of the most introverted personality types, even to a fault.
But there’s a difference between alone time and being lonely. Considering they aren’t exactly understood by a lot of people, they spend a lot of time lonely. This doesn’t change their reluctance to communicate but it sure makes it easier to have someone around.
They need a partner who reduces the burden of loneliness while they enjoy their alone time. They posses a very independent spirit which makes them shut the world out even when they need someone by their sides. This is one thing your INTJ woman wished you knew.
5. Past Relationships Could Make Them Wary
INTJs will not betray you or lie to you. They wouldn’t lead you on when they feel nothing for you. They are very outright with things like this and this is why it hurts when someone else does it. Instead of sulking however, they black up and leave. When they begin to see similar patterns to an old relationship, they call it quits instead of hoping in naivety.
The INTJ woman is willing to invest her time, energy and heart into a relationship and all they ask for is the same. When their partners do not meet these standards, then they start fighting a war in their minds. The war of emotions and logic. In most cases, logic wins. No matter how much they love you, they would willingly let you go if they don’t feel the reciprocity.
If you’ve ever come across the term “INTJ Doorslam” then you’d understand this quite easily. If you’ve hurt them one too many times, they would shut you out. No matter how much they love you. They aren’t ones to give out a lot of second chance either. Once you’ve lost them, it over.
6. They Are Prone to Overthinking and Being Overly Analytical
It is no surprise that they are thinkers because that consumes them often. Your INTJ partner is prone to overthinking and analyzing anything they get their hands on and that includes relationships. This is only because they care. When INTJs do not care for something, it is very telling.
Their overthinking in no way stems from insecurity. Instead, they want to understand the dynamics of the relationship. They would also like to know when you don’t feel the same way so they can start their healing process earlier.
This is one reason people think they are heartless. However, this is because they understand you can never love someone into loving you. It’s either they do or they don’t.
Because they are easily misunderstood, it’s also possible they feel they can be difficult to love and care for. That’s why they shut the world out most times. What your INTJ girlfriend or wife wants you to know is, she cares about the few people in her life. And that includes you.
So, if you have an INTJ girlfriend or wife or fiancée you’ve been meaning to understand for so long, I hope this article paints a better picture for you.
