What’s the link between the INTJ and Heartbreak? What’s the most common response of an INTJ post breakup? Just like every other personality type, a heartbreak can sting and handling it might not be as easy, even for the INTJ. In some cases, it may be worse. Here’s how.
Generally, the INTJ finds it incredibly difficult to form any kind of attachment with people. They prefer the solitude of their own company and this gives the general impression of them being loners.
However, when they make that connection, it can be total chaos if their feelings are reciprocated. It is common knowledge that everyone experiences a heartbreak at some point in their lives but what’s the deal with the INTJ and heartbreak?
INTJs are great at over analyzing things and understanding the reason why things happen the way they do but this doesn’t make it easier for them. So, they have a system in going through this painful but inevitable part of life. They spend a lot of time understanding themselves and the world, the least they could do is apply the knowledge.
How An INTJ Approaches Heartbreak
The INTJ and heartbreak can be a very uncommon mix but not as uncommon as you’d think. However, they have their own approach to these things. As mentioned earlier, one of the reasons a heartbreak stings is because it appears as wasted time.
INTJs have a difficult time falling in love or building attachments so when they do with one person, they usually hope it works out. When it doesn’t, a lot of things come into play. Here are different stages of the INTJ And Heartbreak.
Stages of the INTJ and Heartbreak
1. Acceptance
INTJs accept that this isn’t going to work out from the beginning. No matter how emotional they get, they prevent it from clouding their judgement and although their heart’s might be aching, they never stop using their brains.
They accept that the other person doesn’t feel the same way about them. They accept they are sad and although they wish it could be different, fighting reality only makes it worse.
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But does this make it easier to overcome these feelings? Not at all. It doesn’t change they fact that their heart aches but it prevents them from doing anything irrational as they might regret down the line.
So if problem solving can make it easier to bare, they will take it. They also accept it takes time to heal. No matter how long, time just makes it better.
2. Over Analyzing
At this point of the INTJs life, they over analyze everything. Generally, the INTJs are over-thinkers and like to know why things happened the way they do. Unfortunately, this makes healing a little harder for them. They replay a lot of scenarios in their heads to understand why things happened the way they did. What went wrong? It’s simple! They are seeking closure.
They feel finding closure could make it easier but sometimes that closure has to come from the other party. But then that doesn’t do much to stop their overthinking. They would overthink everything till it somehow makes sense.
How Does the INTJ Cope with A Broken Heart
If there’s one thing to learn from the INTJ and heartbreak is that they understand the importance of feeling your emotions. They know the longer you run from It, the more it hovers. So, they take most logical approach to these emotions. They feel them to the very end. If they need to sulk, cry, detach themselves from the world, they will. But one thing is they don’t let it affect them too much.
An INTJ with a broken heart might still go about their daily activities, only with a little more strain on their chest which they find rather uncomfortable. If they are the ones who initiated the breakup, it could be a lot easier for them. However, if they were the abandoned ones, things could be a lot more different and even more challenging. Especially if It was sudden.
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And this is why they spend a lot of time being overly analytical. Trying to know what went wrong and what they missed. It can lead to a whole rollercoaster of emotions.
The Art of Letting Go
Although the INTJ is known for being strong willed, they aren’t the best at letting go initially. Change makes them very anxious and also very uncomfortable. It’s a new part of their life they have to adapt to. So a surprise breakup or rejection might do a number on them. They usually tend to blame themselves more than they blame the other party and the entire emotions can be overwhelming.
They can become frustrated and sad for long time and moving on can be a struggle but they try to apply logic to it regardless. Once the phase of over analyzing passes by, it becomes a lot easier for them. Problem is, that could take a while.
The INTJ And Heartbreak: How to Heal
Here are ways that could help you as an INTJ going through a heartbreak due to a breakup or rejection.
1. Avoid Overthinking
Understand that over thinking and analyzing every detail isn’t healthy and it could be delaying your healing process. Understandable that the INTJ feels things deeply but spending the minutes and hours of your day constantly asking yourself questions could be doing more harm.
2. Feel the Emotions
Feel every bit of your emotions. INTJs need to feel every part of it and running away from it just makes it hover. Cry if you must, stay in bed, do what heartbroken people do. Remember you’re human and although you know the reason for the pain doesn’t make it easier to bare.
3. Acceptance
Accept that not all things require a solution. Take a break from figuring things out and just feel them. You don’t need an explanation. The other party just doesn’t want you and that should be okay. Might be a hard pill to swallow but it makes it easier if you do.
4. Time Heals
Understand that time makes things a lot better and this time a year from now, it’ll be a lot easier to bare. At first you might be a shadow of yourself but you’ll always come back around. The only thing you can do is live your life and wait for time.
5. Never Allow Your Emotions to Cloud Your Judgement
Don’t indulge in irrational things you would definitely regret in the future. Always remember the importance of self respect. It’s easier to forgive other people that it is to forgive ourselves. So put yourself first. Always.
