What are the things you need to know about the INFJ dark side? Not really a common topic for discussion but the INFJ dark side very much exists. And what it entails is very important.
The INFJ stands for Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, and Judging. They are one of the 16 personality types of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). They are known for their gentility, meekness, and thoughtfulness.
The INFJ cares deeply about people and their environment. Only a few other personality types come close. They seem like nature’s gift to the world but there’s more.
The INFJ can be the sweetest person till they are put under stress. Then you see a completely different side of them. Chances are you might not see it considering they prefer their alone time. They are quite reserved about their feelings too.
But people who have access to them get to see this dark side manifest. It can come as a shocker but that’s because it isn’t completely understood why. So let me break it down for you.
Here some personality shifts and INFJ dark side characteristics you should be familiar with.
Read: INTJ Dark Side: Five Negative Qualities of the INTJ
The INFJ Dark Side: What It Is
Some of the INFJ dark side traits include:
1. They Can Be Uncompromising
A common quality of the INFJ dark side is their complete stubbornness. INFJs have an obsessive planning attribute because they want to be in control of their time.
They do have a bit of spontaneity once in a while but sometimes they just aren’t cut out for it. The main point is, once they have their mind settled for something, changing it can be difficult.
This makes them seem very uncompromising and stubborn but as long as it doesn’t sit right with them, the INFJ would not change their minds. Let’s say eventually they do, it’s because they saw a reason on their own and not because you put up a good argument.
This trait can be very pronounced when an INFJ is experiencing a dark side moment.
2. The INFJ Door Slam
Chances are you might have heard of the famous INFJ door slam. This is when an INFJ cuts a person out of their lives because they hurt them. As impulsive as you might think this is, it isn’t always so.
The bottom line about the INFJ door slam is that they do it to protect themselves so it’s not completely about you. The INFJ has seen how much pain you put them through and decided they want no part of it.
Their sensitive and emotional side comes into play when they slam the door on a person. They stop communicating with them entirely. Scenarios where you always have to be in contact, they shut you out emotionally.
Sometimes when they shut a person out, they still talk to them when necessary but remain as distant as they can be. They may be the nicest people you know but even they come with a limit.
The INFJ would slam the door when they’ve been abused or taken for a tool. It can happen quickly or they can decide to let it build up. The object of this door slam may be completely unaware.
3. Bottling Up Negative Emotions
A common dark trait of an INFJ as they tend to bottle up their emotions. This is hinted about with the INFJ door slam point. They love and care about people undoubtedly but would speak up when they feel wronged.
However, they do this after they’ve been hurt a few more times. Basically, piling it up till they can’t anymore before they explode.
Why does the INFJ bootle up negative emotions you might wonder. This is because they are mentally giving you a second chance. Another reason is they would rather keep peace and like many introverts, would avoid a confrontation.
This can usually lead to moodiness on the part of the INFJ. But sometimes they aren’t clear on how they feel themselves in these situations.
It is usually best to address minor issues when they happen than letting them pile up and become a much bigger mess. If they never explode then you’re sure to witness a door slam. So encourage the INFJs in your life to speak up more.
4. High And Unrealistic Expectations
If there’s one thing you should know about the INFJ is that they break their own hearts with their own expectations. These expectations apply to themselves as well.
Everybody in their lives, from friends to family to lovers, all have a high expectation they need the meet. Let’s look at romance for example. An INFJ always wants to feel the flame from the first moments.
When this begins to die in a relationship, they start second guessing their choices and if their partner truly wants them. With the INFJ you have to bring your A-game.
They aren’t exactly riddled with perfectionism but they appreciate effort. The INFJ wants to care and love you the best way they can. They also want you to do the same for them.
5. They Can Be Quite Harsh
Your INFJ friend would not sugarcoat an advice just to make you feel better. This is because they genuinely want to help you. They are one’s right look at things from various angles. So, they have an honest unbiased opinion most of the time.
Regardless it is important to know they do it from a good place but this can make them come off as blunt and judgmental. Different things from what they were going for but it doesn’t deter them.
The INFJ in your life is being honest with you and understanding this helps both parties. They are be brutally honest but from a well-intentioned place.
Conclusion
The INFJ dark side or “negative” characteristics of the INFJ can be tricky to navigate but not impossible. All personality types have their Achilles heel and this doesn’t make them less of other things that they are.
The INFJ is a true friend you want by your side who truly loves and cares for people in their lives.
