If you have an introvert boyfriend, you might be faced with certain challenges you do not know how to go about. This is a very common occurrence especially when you’re an extrovert. Sometimes even two introverts don’t make the perfect couple.
Unlike other types of people, introverts aren’t fans of large gatherings such as parties. They would rather be alone in the comfort of their own space. Sometimes they’ll want to be around people they care about and have accepted into their space. But it’s quite a different phenomenon because they most likely wouldn’t do it with a party.
If you have an introvert boyfriend, he might prefer a quiet evening in with you, seeing a movie together alone or just playing a board game. Now this is different from what you would experience with other types of people. It can leave you feeling confused because in all honesty, most things introverts do don’t make a lot of sense to extroverts.
Having an introvert boyfriend can leave feeling like he doesn’t love you sometimes. These times could be when he’d rather be alone in his own space. One important thing everyone should know about introverts is that they would always want their own company. They need that alone time to function. Think of it as a cellphone. You can use it all day but you’ll eventually need to charge it or it’ll die.
Introverts need this alone time to charge and sometimes it takes longer than the time they actually spent outside. Again, a lot of things might not make sense to you if you’re non-introverted. But in the introvert world, everything does.
Understanding Your Introvert Boyfriend
One thing you must understand is that introverts tend to have a small group of friends. Sometimes they may seem to know a lot of people but they have very limited number of close friends. Introverts do very well with their own company and thrive on it. They do not necessarily need social interactions to feel seen.
Introverts would find going to parties, large gatherings and certain areas hard because they find it tiring. If eventually you get an introvert to go to a party, they would spend the time thinking, observing and being around people they know. In certain situations, they can be around people who share similar interests as them.
You might have noticed some of these characteristics with your boyfriend. Sometimes he may come off as depressed, sad or bored. You’ve probably gotten comments about your introvert boyfriend being weird or at least a snob. This is a general misconception a lot of people have about introverts.
One reason your introvert boyfriend may not be saying much around people is because he’s trying to keep the attention away from himself. Instead of talking, he’s reading body languages, thinking of the next thing he’d do when he gets home. Understanding your introverted boyfriend is very important to the success of your relationship. Sometimes even you might be misunderstanding him and can’t point out his introverted traits.
Identifying Your Introvert Boyfriend
Maybe you’ve had a few signs your boyfriend was an introvert but what are the signs to make you absolutely sure?
- He likes being on his own most times. Sometimes this alone time can involve you in his space.
- There’s the factor of being overwhelmed by social gatherings and being reluctant to go. If indeed he goes, he might want to leave early, talk to a few people or get tired easily.
- He isn’t completely keen on talking over the phone and would prefer texts or emails. In fact, his phone may be silent to avoid interruptions.
- Loves quiet environments and has hobbies that usually don’t involve a lot of physical activities.
- Has a small circle of friends although it seems he might know a lot of people? He doesn’t accept just anyone into his space and protects it.
- Prefers getting to know people on a deep level and doesn’t appreciate surface relationships.
- Does not fancy shallow and small talks. If he’s going to be talking to someone, it has to be about something.
All these are signs you have an introverted boyfriend. Another way to find out is by simply asking. Asking would get you the answers you nerve and is usually better than assuming. This would be highly appreciated by your boyfriend and he can tell you more about it.
How Do You Maintain a Relationship?
It doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert or not, every introvert has little variations. In order to maintain a healthy relationship with your introvert boyfriend, there are certain no-brainers you should always hold to heart.
Dating an introvert could seem like a lot of challenge at first but when you eventually get your way around it, it might as well be the best relationship of your life.
Here are some great ideas to maintaining a great relationship with your introvert boyfriend.
Accept Your Introvert Boyfriend
The very first step to anything in life has to be acceptance. It gives you the strength to go on with any further decision you make. In the case of introverts, people around them are always trying to change them. Do not be that person.
Your boyfriend should feel comfortable around you so eliminate being judgmental or you risk chasing him away from you. Don’t force him into activities he’s not interested in or force him to say things he doesn’t want to. You can talk things out with him and you both can arrive at a compromise.
You might be surprised the things he would be willing to do with you when he feels accepted. Just as you won’t tell an extroverted person to be more introverted, don’t play that card with them.
You might also be surprised about a lot of things that goes through an introvert’s mind. They are usually categorized as boring but that isn’t the case. They have their own world which is fun and refreshing. Dive into that world and get to see them more than quiet boring people.
Be True with Your Intentions
A very important fact about introverts is that they love honesty. They love it when you’re true to not just them but to yourself. When you’re true with an introvert, you form a better connection than when you are not.
What are the ways you can show your intentions to your boyfriend? Ask to know more about him and tell him about yourself too. Engage in conversations that go a lot deeper. Bare yourself to him and let him know he can bare himself to you as well. It may be difficult getting him to do this at first but that’s where acceptance as mentioned above comes in.
When he sees you’re genuinely interested in his hobbies and activities, it’ll be easy to bare himself to you. Your space should be a no judgment zone. Always.
Engage In Activities He Will Enjoy
Now you know things your introverted boyfriend likes, work accordingly. It might be easy to get lost in the activities you want to engage in but take out time to reflect on his responses to it. Does he really like doing these activities? Or is he doing it because you enjoy it?
Understanding your partner likes more intimate moments, lesser gatherings and a quieter day, you can work with that when planning a date. How can you do this? You can engage them in book dates, seeing a movie, hiking/camping Etc depending on their preference. All introverts have a thing that keeps them company. Something they are heavily interested and invested in.
You can capitalize on that when making date plans with your boyfriend. This is sure to make him happier because you consider his well-being too. You might end up having fun too.
Meet Each Other Half Way
Now just because you’re dating an introvert doesn’t mean you have to change yourself. Love is all about finding healthy compromises and this works here as well. Finding ways you both can get what you want through communication is a good idea.
You can go to parties but consider leaving early for your boyfriend. You can have quiet dates twice a month and dates you would like twice a month as well. This can be applied to the number of dates you go to in a time frame as long as it goes 50-50.
Things meeting each other half way in life can seem like an impossible task but as long as there’s communication and honesty, you and your boyfriend can work it out. Just as much as he respects you enough to attend your events, you should do the same for him as well.
Embrace Your Boyfriend’s Strengths
Introverts are really powerful because they function well on their own. They are deep thinkers and see things differently. They are also interested in a lot of things the average person may not even understand.
Instead of thinking of your boyfriend as a boring introvert who likes to sit in silence, admire them for their superpowers as mentioned above. When people think about introversion, they usually only think about the negative part but very little do people think about the positives.
For him to be your boyfriend there must have been something that attracted you to him in the first place. Never lose sight of that or it could all come crashing down.
Introverts Differ
Just as personality types come with differences, you should keep in mind that introverts differ. No two introverts are the same and if you move from one introvert boyfriend to another, you should still apply the above mentioned.
Everything you need to know is about your boyfriend and how he responds to certain situations. When you do all these, you build a healthier relationship for you and your introverted boyfriend.
