The ISFJ boyfriend is a practical and hardworking companion who values romantic and family relationships.
They may be introverted and this makes that a perfect match for sensing extroverts. However, various factors could lead to a happy relationship. Personality types aren’t always a guarantee of the most successful relationships.
Your ISFJ boyfriend can offer you stability which is rare to see these days. He would also mix it up with romantic gestures and new experiences. What you can expect isn’t just commitment and loyalty but also loving care.
What To Expect From an ISFJ Boyfriend
It is a no-brainer that they are the observant, protective, and loyal personality type. They put their family and friends above a lot of things due to their selfless nature. This is a mistake they often make.
Here are other mistakes an ISFJ boyfriend can make in a relationship.
They Don’t Express How They Truly Feel
If you’re an ISFJ reading this then surely you must understand. You do this as a means of protecting your loved ones. Hiding how you truly feel is a way to avoid conflict even when it’s needed for a change.
ISFJs hold peace very dearly and wouldn’t want to hurt feelings even when it’s inevitable. They would hide their hurt and hope it’ll go away instead of confronting the problem.
Now they do this out of love and care for the other person but this is a catalyst for complete chaos. Not only does it leave a lot of people taking advantage of them, they forever have to bear the burden of being hurt.
As a partner of an ISFJ, they usually expect you to read the signs and know when something isn’t right. And this doesn’t always work because not everyone is good at reading signs.
As a partner of the ISFJ boyfriend, you are encouraged to talk about this with them. Let them know you want them to be expressive. You can’t always see the signs. ISFJs need to explain to their partners to know what makes them feel neglected.
If your partner isn’t appreciating you more, paying more attention to you, etc, voicing it out is the best way. Maybe you’ll like them to do the laundry or mow the lawn. It’s so much better to tell your partner what you want than to hope they read your mind.
As a partner of the ISFJ boyfriend, encouraging them to do the above will prevent further emotional breakdowns and passive-aggressiveness.
They Are Selfless to A Fault
ISFJs tend to be very selfless, considerate, and compassionate. They will forever feel like it is noble to serve others, even to the point of suspending their own desires and needs. They tend to bring this into relationships as well.
So, you can bear in mind that your boyfriend would most likely not forget your birthday or even an anniversary. Considering it’s common for men to forget these things, he might seem like the perfect man.
They would be by your side when you’re ill, down with a cramp, etc. Your ISFJ boyfriend would call in to check up on you to know how your day is going. Now all this might seem great because it is. But most times they’ll make any decision to make you happy.
If the relationship is going downhill, they would think it’s because of them.
An ISFJ would tend to slowly but steadily start doing things just because their partner likes them and this isn’t what you would appreciate in the long run.
This leaves them exhausted, burned out, and sometimes a shadow of themselves. They tend to give so much to other people they forget they have to start from themselves.
An ISFJ can overcome this by thinking more about themselves. They can’t help not putting others first but they can also include themselves. If you don’t care for yourself as an ISFJ, it’ll eventually take a toll on your relationship.
You can’t keep healing things when you’re completely broken. Taking out time to do things you really like is a way to be a better ISFJ boyfriend.
They Take Things Too Personally
An ISFJ boyfriend would tend to take things too personally even when they shouldn’t. They are naturally emotional to a fault. When you have problems in your relationship, they tend to feel they are the cause.
If you’re dating an ISFJ, you might want to thread the water of criticism very carefully. This is because it can hurt their feelings. They can’t handle it when you call out a flaw in something especially if they’ve worked too hard on it.
Now it is completely inevitable to call out flaws and critic certain things he does. But you have to make it constructive without hurting his feelings. Just as you can make these criticisms, you might as well say what they did right.
As an ISFJ, it is imperative to work on your self-esteem. This is very important if you want a relationship to last. If you can’t handle criticism, you make it difficult for your partner to express themselves. They would always be walking on eggshells around you and nobody wants that.
When people tell you what they think you did wrong, they aren’t expressing how they hate you. Far from it because they believe you can be better, so why not?
Critics don’t determine the self-worth of anything and that includes you. As a partner of an ISFJ male, you might be required to be patient with them through this. Talking to them and assuring them that you don’t hate them goes a long way.
It is safe to say that words of affirmation are a concrete love language of the ISFJ. The sensing part of their personalities tends to be realists but sometimes the feelings and emotions get in the way.
This can make them decide based on their feelings instead of facts and details.
They Are Introverts and Need Their Space to Function
Introverts would always need their space to function and this doesn’t mean they are shy. Many introverts are outspoken but eventually need alone time to recharge. If you’re dating an ISFJ, it still counts.
Due to their other traits such as being too selfless, they may want to compromise. But you never mess with an introvert’s alone time. It affects them in many ways.
You also have to understand that if you’re dating an ISFJ, this has absolutely nothing to do with you. There are so many things that make the ISFJ boyfriend unique. You have to get close to him to know.
Introverts have an entire world of their own and when they love you, they show you that part of themselves.
They make attentive partners and tend to go the extra mile for people they love. But they need to have that time to have the strength to function.
Complaining about this to your ISFJ boyfriend would leave him worried, always wondering if perhaps they are at fault and should spend more time with you. This can leave them burnt out.
They Would Avoid Confrontations as Much as They Can
It has been highlighted that ISFJs avoid confrontations and this is what to expect. They fear confrontation a lot more than the average person. But they have to realize ignoring a problem doesn’t just make it go away. In fact, ignoring a problem is a way to make it bigger till it blows up in your face.
Instead of avoiding confrontations like a plague, encourage your ISFJ boyfriend on how to navigate it. Confrontations do not always have to be messy but they need to be done to restore balance.
If someone is disrespecting you as an ISFJ, let them know. It might seem like it’s choking you at that moment but you’ll eventually be glad you did.
As an ISFJ, you can write out words you’d rather want to hear, then use them. As a partner of an ISFJ, you can talk about this with them. Let them know they can call you out when you’re not being reasonable. With an ISFJ, communication is very important for the success of the relationship.
What Makes The ISFJ Boyfriend Happy?
Well really, you. Your ISFJ boyfriend just wants to make you happy because he really is that selfless. Understanding what he’s about is a great way to make the relationship work.
What else makes them happy? Their own space. Even when they insist on being with you and you know they’d rather be alone, let them be.
The good thing is space gives an introvert more energy to do other things. When they are mentally burnt out, they aren’t very productive.
ISFJs make great boyfriends who are loving, caring, and selfless. They deserve love and understanding as well. They also need to be kept in check so they don’t burn themselves out. This guide helps you understand a little better about ISFJs as boyfriends.
Knowing how to deal with your introverted boyfriend will make your relationship smooth.
Any additional information you need? Ask him.
