If you’ve been through heartbreak as an introvert, then this article is for you. Introverts understand love differently. It is assumed that most introverts are demisexual or asexual.
I mean, if you’re going to let someone have access to your body, soul, and emotions, you have to mentally accept them first. Now, this makes falling in love tricky.
Introverts are famous for giving everything they have in a relationship. This can leave them feeling vulnerable and exposed. It can get worse when an introvert has to survive a breakup.
As an introvert, most of your life is confined to spaces you feel most comfortable in. For most introverts, that space happens to be their bedrooms. That’s where most of their thoughts and inspirations come from. It’s where they cry alone, laugh alone and entertain themselves just like everybody else.
Letting someone into your space is a big deal for introverts. Sometimes it’s more than just coming into your space. It also means being a part of someone else’s space. So how do you go back to normal after a breakup?
Introverts Feel The Need To Crawl Back Into Their “Shells”
I’ve had conversations with a few introverts who have experienced multiple breakups, myself included. They generally felt love wasn’t for them after a heartbreak.
It’s like “I let someone into my space and they broke my heart. Starting over is so hard, so why bother? I’ve been fine on my own all along. So, why don’t I just continue?” That’s what it feels like for a lot of introverts healing from heartbreak.
I like to classify heartbreak for an introvert into these stages: acceptance, sadness, disbelief, and withdrawal.
1. Acceptance
Acceptance comes first because introverts are used to being in their own space. They accept something is gone before trying to figure out why. Even if it hurts, they try to program their brains to accept that the person is gone.
“Oh love, this person isn’t going to be here anymore. You can cry but you must understand this” continuously rings in their heads.
2. Sadness and Disbelief
Next, we proceed to the sadness and disbelief phase. Do you know how people feel alcohol can make an introvert turn into an extrovert? Well, that’s not always the case. It just makes you a drunk/tipsy introvert.
It’s the same with heartbreaks. Heartbreak doesn’t mean an introvert will go to bars and clubs trying to fill the sadness and disbelief you’re facing. Even if an introvert gets to a stage where they want to drink, they’ll most likely do it where they are most comfortable-their bedrooms.
3. Withdrawal stage
Then there’s the withdrawal stage. In this stage, introverts try to find who they were before the relationship. They feel it can heal their broken hearts.
“If I can just tap into that energy, maybe I’ll forget about them”. This doesn’t usually work. So, they isolate and stay away from any potential lovers.
The withdrawal phase is usually the longest for most introverts moving on from a heartbreak. This is why it’s harder to get them to accept your care. They find it hard to believe that new relationships won’t end like the previous ones.
Heartbreaks Can Be Lonely For An Introvert But They Have A Super Power
For an introvert, heartbreaks can be a lonely experience since they stay on their own most times. They have to pick themselves up, wipe their tears, and make themselves move on. Extroverts tend to lean more towards people to help them move on.
Introverts, on the other hand, do things differently. Don’t get me wrong, introverts have people they can talk to regularly. However, they try not to overburden them with their own problems.
Most introverts also have anxiety issues. It can make a heartbreak a lonely journey they can’t wait to get over. As an introvert reading this, you have to understand that it takes time. Skipping a phase makes the healing process longer.
There’s good news though. Introverts have this superpower where they can entertain themselves. It’s from years of having to be their own support system as well as motivator.
As long as they are in touch with that part of themselves, during and after a relationship, moving on wouldn’t be as challenging. In an instance where they lose touch with their inner companion, all they have to do is tap back into that person and everything else falls back into place.
The self-loathing and other stages of a regular breakup can and most likely will come into play. However, introverts don’t need other people to function. They just need themselves in the rawest form.
Another superpower common with introverts is understanding reality. Introverts aren’t likely to go on random hookups after a breakup in the need to move on from their pain. They are usually more logical in their thought process and don’t see the need for that.
This is also because most introverts don’t give their heart and body to just anybody. They are more selective with the company they keep and in the relationships they build. When an introvert moves on, they move on completely.
How Do You Handle Heartbreak As An Introvert
Getting over heartbreak as an introvert isn’t impossible. These tips go a long way in helping.
1. Embrace It
You need to accept the fact that someone you let into your space broke your heart. Then you need to give other people a chance.
This should be done at your own pace because anything else would be catastrophic. Since introverts are shy and reserved, they’ll definitely do things differently.
2. Be Thoughtful
Your healing process can be whatever you want it to be. However, remember not to be selfish about it. Engage in activities that help you think less about your issues. Heal in an introverted way without thinking you’ll feel better by being somebody else.
3. Get a Journal
This cannot be overemphasized. Getting a journal helps you document your progress. You can also get yourself a new hobby. Try baking, cooking, or sculpting. Heartbreaks release new energy that can be channeled into something far greater.
4. Be Active
You can plan a small event in your home if you’re open to letting people into your space. Not everyone is an enemy and some people genuinely care about you.
If you’re reading this and you’re not sure what you identify as (introvert or extrovert), that’s ok. Heartbreaks hurt everyone especially if you cared about that person. So have your moments but remember to always pick yourself up.
