When it balls down to romance, the INTJ and ENFP might be the perfect pairing. This might not look so at first due to their differences. However, they have a few traits that attract them to each other.
In relationships such as dating and marriage, opposites tend to attract. Most times we are attracted to people who are strong in areas where we are weak. When opposites attract, it is mostly because of this reason.
It can be rare and unimaginable to want to date someone who is lacking in the same areas that we are. Thinkers need people who carry out actions. Sensitive people need partners who are less sensitive and weaker people need someone who can be tougher.
When these come together, it can seem and feel like they complete each other. And in reality, they do. This is what happens in the INTJ and ENFP relationships.
Why Are The INTJ and ENFP Attracted To Each Other?
Their similarities might seem to be just their intuition function. But they share other common cognitive functions which are introverted feeling and extroverted thinking.
Unlike their sensing counterparts, INTJ and ENFPs perceive the world through intuition. Another similarity is they both have a common thinking and feeling function. They just don’t work accordingly.
INTJs are more inclined to use logic, efficiency and structure. They plan their day, time and activities. This is different for the ENFP. The INTJ uses Fi in tertiary position. They have certain similarities, both not on the same level.
Categorically speaking, The INTJ and ENFP might seem like the perfect couple as they hit it off quite easily. They have the best conversations.
They share a common approach to intuition after all and in differences, there can also be similarities. The INTJ is one who possesses a more narrow focus on things which can come off as intense. The ENFP tends to have a broader focus.
Another reason why they are attracted to each other is how they view each other’s approach to things. The INTJ is more focused in their ideas which the ENFP may find interesting. The ENFP is more outspoken on things the INTJ internalizes. This is something they find fascinating as well.
So how do they manage their differences?
1. Introversion/Extroversion Differences
Introverts and extroverts are two opposites of a spectrum. And on this spectrum the ENFP is considered to be less extroverted than most extroverts. This blends just well with the INTJ who is heavily introverted.
As opposed to pairing with other extroverts, the INTJ would find the ENFP a lot more compatible. They also share some important values with each other. This includes health autonomy, family, and financial security.
With the ENFP, the INTJ is comfortable with their extroversion and might even enjoy it. When the INTJ is gloomy, they can easily light up the atmosphere but that isn’t all. The INTJ admires the ability of the ENFP to connect to people easily which they find difficult to do.
The ENFP on the other hand is attracted to the INTJ because of their quiet, reserved and intellectual nature. They appreciate the quiet evenings, engaging in activities such as reading a book, talking and just relaxing with the INTJ.
It is safe to say they enjoy the intense, focused and quiet nature the INTJ brings. And it helps that ENFPs are also intellectual which makes them great conversationalists with the INTJ. They are more drawn into the conversations about philosophy, meaning of life, family and other related topics.
2. Thinking/Feeling Differences
INTJs are thinkers and ENFPs, feelers. This might seem like two sides of a coin but it can be a benefit to the relationship. Where one is weak, the other stands strong.
Although it is a benefit, it can also be a difficulty in certain areas. However, their differences is what makes them so drawn to each other. The ENFP is a naturally playful, enthusiastic and charming individual. They have a great sense of humor and are open minded.
The INTJ tends to be warm and welcoming. They find happiness in spending time with their ENFP partner because of this. With the ENFP, the INTJ can come to terms with their feelings and know what to do with them.
INTJs gave a more intellectual approach to life. They are very fluent in sarcasm so this can be a bonding moment between the INTJ and the ENFP. Passionate in all they do, their goal oriented nature is very attractive to the ENFP.
They can come off as uptight, completely different from the ENFP but this can be what complements their relationship. The INTJ helps the ENFP with more logic oriented solutions to their problems. Therefore broadening their horizon to help achieve their dreams.
3. Judging/Perceiving Differences
As mentioned earlier, The INTJ is very single minded in their goals and aspirations. This is what attracts the ENFP. The INTJ takes their plans and their schedules completely seriously which isn’t the same for the ENFP.
Unlike the INTJ, they are a lot more spontaneous and do not really plan a lot of things. Even when they do, their many ideas can make them sway easily. This makes them terrible at time management.
This differences can be of a benefit as the INTJ can help the ENFP to be a better time manager, ergo making them a lot more efficient. Meeting up with deadlines and carrying out more activities in a day.
The ENFP on the other hand helps the INTJ to be a little less intense. See the world from new perspectives and help them have a little more “fun”. Their intense focus and need for efficiency can make they miss out on so many things. But the ENFP is there to make sure that doesn’t happen.
What Challenges Does The INTJ and ENFP Relationship Face?
Just as opposites attract, they can be quite challenging as well. The INTJ and ENFP have different ways of living their lives and this can pose a challenge. They view the world differently and therefore have different needs from it.
1. Problems in Socializing
Although the ENFP is less of an extrovert compared to others, they still enjoy and crave the outside world. They enjoy meeting new people, experiencing new environments and so on. If they spend a lot of time without this, it can be overwhelming.
For the INTJ, however, this can be completely different as they are heavily introverted. They can and would spend all their time alone, being in the house and having little to no human interaction. This can be too much for the ENFP.
For the INTJ to be in their element due to their Ni dominant lifestyle, they require their space, peace, quiet and solitude. In an environment the ENFP finds comfortable, the INTJ could be struggling.
INTJs do not mind visiting places and meeting new people from time to time. But this would require a great deal of recharging afterwards. The ENFP finds these very fulfilling and wouldn’t require a recharge afterwards.
2. Problems in Planning
To the INTJ, the ENFP are terrible planners who do not respect the concept of time. In reality the ENFPs just have a different planning style as they like to leave it open ended.
They are very spontaneous and want to be able to cancel whenever they want. They are also impulsive and although it suits right into their lifestyle of finding new inspirations, it infuriates the INTJ to the core.
INTJs are a lot more different in their planning style. They like to know when each activity happens especially ahead of time. This aids them in not being overwhelmed and stressed by spontaneity.
They detest leaving things open ended and are not really big fans of surprises. To the INTJ, structure is what aids their life. Knowing what to do, when to do it, what to expect and how to anticipate it.
This difference can be a nightmare to each other if they do not learn how to manage it and meet each other half way. The INTJ can help the ENFP be a better planner. The ENFP can help the INTJ loosen up a little and see things differently.
3. Problems in Communicating
Communication can be one of the biggest problems of an INTJ and ENFP relationship. ENFPs detest confrontations and conflict and would avoid it as much as possible. They usually never want to talk about the problem and would rather it goes away on its own.
They tend to take criticism personally and this can be where the problem lies. The INTJ is known to be blunt and straightforward about their criticism which can hurt the ENFP or make them downright uncomfortable.
To the INTJ, talking about a problem helps you solve it and move on from it faster. ENFPs who are more vocal about other things most of the time, do not do so well here. They let out their thoughts and feelings which is different for the INTJ who internalizes most of what they think.
The INTJ comes off as cold to a lot of people including the ENFP, especially one who is still trying to understand them. Most times the INTJ wants to communicate but the ENFP has a flight response which frustrates them.
How To Overcome The Challenges Between INTJ and ENFP
There are ways to overcome these challenges as an INTJ and ENFP partner.
1. As An INTJ Partner
As an INTJ partner in the relationship, it is imperative to understand your differences. Ways this can happen is understanding your partners feelings and needs.
It is impossible to change from introversion to extroversion but you can meet each other half way by making out time for more social activities. When you want to spend all your time alone, it can leave your ENFP partner feeling lonely.
You do not have to be at every social engagement but every once in a while won’t hurt.
When it comes to emotions, you both see things differently. Be more attentive to your ENFP partner when they share their emotions and remember words of affirmation.
Do not be fixated on just the negative aspects of the relationship, especially when dishing out critical. Remember to emphasize on the positive aspects as well.
Express your feelings when you feel them instead of bottling them up inside. Because they tend to accumulate till they explore and it can be too much for your partner to bear.
2. As An ENFP Partner
Understanding your differences is one way to go as an ENFP partner. Your INTJ partner doesn’t hate you but they just have a different way of showing it. Understand them can save you from a lot of conflict.
Do not push them into many social situations every time. They can appreciate a small gathering with a small group of friends. It is important to accept their introversion and respect that.
It is important to respect their need for routines and schedules. Avoid canceling last minute or changing plans whenever you feel like. This leaves them unsettled and eventually uninterested in your proposals.
INTJ loves it when you show interest in things they care about. It shows you care and it’s a great way to get to their soft spot.
The INTJs are exactly spontaneous people so making out plans often, shows you understand them and care about their participation. Also about canceling things last minute. It unnerves them.
It is also important to understand their blunt and straightforward approach to criticism. They do it because they care and want to solve the problem as fast as possible. That way you both can move on.
They find it difficult to live in the moment and tend to pick out flaws they feel can be corrected. But this is because they want it to work out with you. They care about you and the relationship.
If you feel uncomfortable, you can always let them know and you both can find a middle ground. They tend to overanalyze and take a very logical approach.
The INTJ and ENFP Strange But Interesting Relationship
As long as there is a steady amount of communication and comprehension, there’s no reason why this relationship shouldn’t work.
The INTJ and ENFP might be different but they complement each other in more ways than one. Tell us what you think in other ways they can improve their relationship.
